Camping in Cook Forest 2016

It's been a while since my last update, I've just been so darn tired.


So in my last blog I discussed my NTM bacteria's, and my experience with Amikacin. They gave my Cipro after that, but oddly enough I had a reaction this time. I've had it before but I think the other antibiotics in my combo made it something I could not tolerate. Two weeks ago my blood work indicated that I needed a blood transfusion. My primary care doctor was out of town, and I decided to just go on my already planned vacation. I did call one of the doctors at NIH, and they suggested that I might have a tedizolid toxicity and that I stop taking it for a week and then get retested. So I went with my family; Frank, Kate, Kearie, Mary, Scott and Seth. We had a blast, it was relaxing and fun and exactly what I needed to get out of the funk I had fallen into. I'm sick of feeling sick. I haven't felt like my self in about 10 months. I had gotten depressed over it, and our vacation reminded me of some things I had forgotten. Thanks to my family, this trip was relaxing, refreshing and most of all fun.

Our car broke down on the way home and we need to buy another one. My mood is better, but I'm still not feeling so great. I put in a call to my primary doctor today, who should have me results from the last blood work by now, and hopefully a suggestion on how to help. At this point my last option is a blood transfusion, as far s I know. She may have another option, fingers crossed. I get IV therapy once a week/every other week so I know the place where I would be getting the transfusion. Additionally I have family who have had this done, but I'm always a little nervous about getting a new medicine or treatment.

In other news, my daughter is home visiting for her summer vacation! That has helped my mood too and I'm excited as we are closer to her graduating and moving home. She'll be moving back in and getting a job in the area (hopefully) and attending college in order to get the business class she needs.

Empty Nest?

I haven't updated this blog in a while, but I wanted to come on to update on the current going on. I got a cell phone and with a few apps I have been able to keep track of my "episodes" and I have realized that when my joints hurt my temperature goes up. How weird is that? I plan on discussing it with my doctor at my next appointment.

My daughter left for college in October 2014, and I haven't seen her since December (when I was sick). This may not seem like a long time - but it feels like years have passed. She left in October (the 3rd was the drop off day) and she came home in November for Thanksgiving, she was gone 7 weeks but we went to visit her twice during that time. Then she cam home for Christmas, that time she was gone for 3 weeks. As of today it has been just over 9 weeks, and we haven't had the chance to visit. This weekend we hope to visit, and I can not wait. I miss her so much!! I enjoy spending time with my husband but it feels like a piece of us is missing, and I know he feels the same way. The 3 of us have always been so very close, and I just feel like the whole world is changing. People used to talk about their kids leaving, and they would say how hard it was, and I guess I just always thought it would be different for us. I'm not really sure why though. For 18 years the 3 of us were best friends, and we still are we just don't live together anymore. It's a tough transition for Frank and I.

I have dealt with many different medical issues personally and as a care giver, but this is not something I feel like I can navigate. I am so happy she is out doing her own thing, and I am so very proud of her. I just don't know how I'm going to get through this.

College

I apologize for my lack of postings lately! My daughter is graduating and has been accepted to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh! I am so proud! She is an amazing young woman, and she deserves the opportunity to follow her dreams.

Senior year is hard. I know it has been tough on Kate, but man, it's been tough on my husband and I also. Not only is the fact that she is leaving tough, but we have been trying to help her pull everything together but we are attempting to fill our last summer together with fun times and memories!

Some of you might not understand the close relationship my husband and I have with Kate. It has always been the three of us against the world. We've had each others backs and those thing are not going to change. When Kate was younger her birthmother picked her up and did not bring her home. This was right before her 3rd birthday, and we fought to get her home. With out making this a long a drawn out story - she came home and the three of us have a bond now that I am not sure others full comprehend. We tell each other everything, there are no secrets between the 3 of us, we take care of each other and have been through a lot of crap and have come out stronger for it.

We get the, "been there done that", "as soon as mine is 18 she/he is outta here", or a look of shock. Having two genetic, progressive diseases (neither with a cure) helped us build a very strong foundation add to that the struggles caused by her birthmother and my husbands struggles with his own health and it is unshakable.

She won a scholarship, which is going to help out a lot, but we still have a lot of costs to cover. I created a page, http://www.gofundme.com/79ih34, in hopes to raise some more money for her to start classes and buy materials. Please visit and read her story and her progress so far. Donate if you can, please. She is a generous person with a great heart with an old soul, she makes the honor roll with distinction every term, she has a great sense of humor and she takes care of her family.

The painful adventure

Last night my husband and daughter both came home exhausted. I hadn't been having a great day either, as I hadn't taken my pain medicine the day before. We just ran out, and had to wait for the cash flow to pick it up. When we went the pharmacy didn't have enough for the full script so I only got a partial. Anyhow...

We decided to go to IHOP so we could have a no effort dinner, with pancakes of course. I got an omelet covered in hollandaise, so basically a plate full of eggs and cheese. YUM! I had some problems getting in and out of the car, but our handicap tag was a big help (so we didn't have to park to far away). While eating my feet became increasingly hotter and more agitated. I got up to go to the bathroom and I thought my legs were going to explode. When we're in public I do my very best to not look like I'm having a problem, and last night I tried but failed horribly. Frank and Kate knew right away that I was getting worse, and when they remembered that I had missed my lyrica the day before they new a pain storm was beginning. A pain storm is what my husband calls it, I call it hell, but tamato/tomatoe.

I finished my dinner because I knew I was going to need a full stomach for my meds. We got home and I get inside and go right up stairs, better to do it when I'm in pain than to wait and possibly cause a flare up. So Frank and Kate helped me up the stairs and started a running a bath for me. It was loaded with Epsom salts and another bath salt mix to help relaxation. I got in the tub, with a lot of help, and the hot water and salts helped a lot. BUT the biggest help of all was my daughter Kate. After she and her dad helped me into the tub, she got a 'Choose Your Own Adventure Book' and as per the routine she red it to me while I soaked and relaxed as best as I could. This is what she does every time this kind of thing happens. Incase you're wondering...she IS amazing. Not just when I'm in pain, but all of the time. She hates it when I brag about her, so I guess its good that she doesn't read this blog. She has been cooking since she was 4, she is taking vocational culinary classes and is going to culinary school after high school. She has a 4.0 and cleans with out being asked. She is funny and has a healthy perspective on life. I know, I'm her mother and you may be thinking I'm jaded. Maybe I am.

Today has been OK so far. I still hurt, but Frank will be home to help me with lunch and Kate will be home by 4, so I have plenty to look forward to.

French Fries fix everything...until you eat too many

So a lot has been happening in the world. Family has been sick and friends are hurting, it has been a tough year so far. Through it all, a problem has been niggling in the back of my mind. I am getting worse. I have been trying to rate my pain and fatigue every day. The fatigue has stayed the same. But the pain hasn't, the past few weeks I have not been lower than a 5. I have been taking lyrica every day, and a vicodin at least once a day (usually to help me sleep).


I love my primary care doctor, I think she is wonderful.She absolutely thinks outside of the box, which is what a zebra like me needs. Some of you know the reference but for those who don't; zebra is a slang for a surprising diagnosis. Although rare diseases are, in general, surprising when they are encountered, other diseases can be surprising in a particular person and time, and so "zebra" is the broader concept. It came from the saying, "When you hear hoof beats behind you, don't expect to see a zebra". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zebra_(medical)



So as I said, I need someone to think outside of the box. But I also need a specialist. So I contacted one of the doctors that discovered my mutation and wrote an article on me (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12400067). I'm excited that she says she is going to see me! I can't wait! Don't get me wrong, there is no cure and I know that. Not yet anyway. But there could be a better way to treat this pain and discomfort.



In other news, our new dog is doing well. My daughter has a job in a kitchen, and loves it. My husband is doing well too, except he fell down our steps the other day. He only fell down the last 4 but he landed flat on his back. He has been sore for the past few days but he seems to be doing better. I also got to hang out with my BFF, Jessica. I have been resting and not really doing anything, but when I had the chance I hung out with her! She lives far away, I could drive to her house more often....if I could drive more often. Anyhow we went out and got french fries which are a cure all. That is until you eat to many, then they are the problem! Jessica and I lost touch for years, and a few "best friends" filled in. But they paled in comparison to Jess. I'm not saying she doesn't have flaws, but her flaws compliment my own.



All in all, I really do have a blessed life. What is illness when you have the kind of family and friends I have?

Disability

For the past week I’ve been feeling pretty tired and yesterday I started experiencing bone pain. (I call it that b/c it feels like the pain when I broke my ankle/wrist/knee. Not the break part but the pain you feel after the bone sets and it starts to heal.) My left arm and my right leg, not to mention my hips feel out of socket. I couldn’t even put my own pants on. I’m not feeling sorry for myself but frustrated with my body. I’m going to try some Bayer Back and Body, but I’m not sure if it will help.

Last post I was excited to go on vacation. We went to Duck, NC with friends. We had a pretty good time although I felt like I missed a lot. My biggest missed moment was watching the sunrise from the beach. I just couldn’t wake up to do it. But I did spend some time on the deck, granted it was in the afternoons and evenings but it was nice. I did get a lot of pictures to help me remember as many moments as I can!


This morning has been ok despite the pain, Frank helped me down the steps (and getting dressed) and Kate made me some breakfast. She’s working on her senior project next week, so she won’t be home to help in the mornings. I have my disability hearing tomorrow, so it will be a busy day. I’m hoping that it goes well, and that I can get threw it without crying. But I guess we’ll see.

Wednesday? Already?

This morning I woke up congested, and spent my first two hours awake coughing, hacking and spitting. (Pretty visual- I know) Because of my mitochondrial disease this coughing will be my major activity for the day, because today I woke up with very little energy. Sunday I took Kate out shopping to pick up things she needed for Prom, and on Monday Kate and I went grocery shopping. (Because Frank was sick.) So yesterday I was pretty much useless and today I’m still feeling pretty sore. We have friends coming over this weekend and I’d like to not be in pain the whole time so I’m taking it easy for the next few days. Kate still needs some things for Prom but I think Frank is going to take her out to get them. As long as I’m not driving I should be able to go with them, but I’ll have to skip going into the store unless we take the wheel chair. (Which I hate, because people stare. Seriously. You would think that in this day and age a chick in a wheel chair wouldn’t be such a unique sight, but apparently it is. And those who don’t stare get in the way and then are annoyed when they have to move for the chair.)



After coughing everything up (thank you vest) I’m actually feeling like today is a pretty good day lung wise for me. My lung capacity is pretty good for an adult with CF (77%) but the problem is keeping it there. Because of my mitochondrial disease I have exercise intolerance, some days I might be able to do a few exercises while others there is no way I could. So for right now, I’m doing exercises to keep my muscles from getting any weaker. Exercise is important to CF patients, so the fact that I can’t do it is a real problem. Speaking of, I have to call my clinic and set up my next appointment. I’ve been forgetting, which is also mito related. My memory is terrible.



Here lately my sinuses have not been happy with the weather, so I’ve been taking extra meds to keep them in check. I’m still taking my standard antibiotics and *knocks on wood* everything seems to be going well. Tonight I’m making dinner. I picked something pretty easy with no prep work needed, a pasta casserole type thing. Its rigatoni and pepperoni with ricotta and tomato basil sauce, and I’ll have to have help getting it in and out of the oven.

I can't believe it is Wednesday already.  I feel like it should be Tuesday or maybe even Monday, so that I can get things done. 

My colors are blush and bashful...

I was admitted to the hospital in the beginning of February and I was in for about 14 days. I was on IV antibiotic and met with quite a few doctors. I saw a neurologist, a neurogeneticist, 3 rheumatologists, nutritionist, opthamologist, geneticist, physio and occupational therapy (and of course my CF doc). I had a chest X- ray, MRI, swallow study, an ECHO, abdominal ultrasound, EMG/NCV, an eye full exam, and a q sweat. (Not to mention a ton of blood work.) So some of the tests came back 'off'. They are trying to fit me into a study to help with the pain, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Having a unique mitochondrial mutation leaves the doctors unsure of how to treat me; which means I'm just stuck in limbo waiting for someone to figure me out. So I suppose we will see what happens. On a positive note I went in with a 67% lung function and came out with 77%...

I woke up Monday with a stuffy nose, sore throat and chest congestion. I was hoping it was allergies, but that was just wishful thinking! I am still sick and I feel worse than I felt on Monday. So I put in a call to my doctor to let her know 17 days out of the hospital...and I'm sick. AGAIN. The last time this happened was in October and it lasted until this hospital visit. I'm frustrated, but not as frustrated as my husband. Sometimes I consider lying and telling him I feel fine...but then I realize that I need his support. I just wish he had more support. Sometimes I'm not sure his family understands his stress level (b/c of me), hell I'm not even sure he tells his friends. But Frank is a worrier, and to quote a line from Steel Magnolia's- "I never worry 'cause I always know you're worried enough for the both of us". That's Frank...worried enough for the both of us.

Anyhow...my family is going through some turmoil right now, nothing that I feel comfortable posting details about online. A few of my friends are sick right now too. I wish I could do something. For my family and friends; but physically...I just can't. At least not right now, hopefully if I get a new diagnosis from NIH that I'll get my energy and muscle control back, not to mention get rid of this constant ache.

We bought a ton of Girl Scout cookies so far, in an effort to show support. I'm sure I will have an extra butt cheek to show support at the end of this cookie sale! As for my daughter? She's made Honor Roll with Distinction; I am so proud of her. She is doing well, still cooking and loving it! If there is one thing in this world that I did right, it was raising Kate. It is the most important job in my life, and the thing I'm most proud of (being a Mom).

Another week come and gone...

So this week has been a busy one, but we all managed to get through it fine! Kate got sponsored for a cooking class this past week, and she got one for a class in August too. I’m so excited for her, although I think my legs might need a vacation afterwards! But seriously, Kate has this opportunity to work with an amazing chef; so I’ll do what I have to do to make sure it happens. I know moms brag about their kids but I really think I have a wonderful, talented, and awesome daughter.
Other than that I had NIH this week, and things went ok. Frank has started taking me and when he can’t my brother does. I can’t drive that far anymore. Anyhow he isn’t used to getting the run around or the, “we don’t know what to do with you speech”; so if you ask him how the appointment went it was disappointing. I guess I should feel that way too but somehow I just can’t find it in me anymore to get upset. I mean don’t get me wrong I do spend many a night crying over this whole mess that is my health, but that is out of frustration, I think. Maybe it’s disappointment too…???


So my CF doc tells me about an undiagnosed disease clinic that is at NIH, and she wants to try to get me in. I’m all for that, it seems like NIH discovered these “novel” mutations and then a few years later decided it was too much work to keep up with. At times I feel like a bug in a jar, but I must be an uninteresting bug because they don’t even seem to be watching me anymore. So while I do have hope that NIH might come through, I will not be surprised if they don’t.
I suppose I should get used to the idea that no one will ever really understand me medically speaking. It’s difficult for me to explain to people what I have because while it is a mitochondrial disease, they cannot tell me anything more specific. The only thing more frustrating; to me, than having an invisible disease is having to tell people that you have an unknown (invisible) disease.
So tonight I’m sitting online and relaxing typing this blog post and playing on face book. My sleep schedule has been thrown off. I didn’t take pain meds all week, as I was driving, so know that I’ve taken one it’s keeping me awake. Frank is up stairs drawing, but I think I’m going to sneak in and go to bed!

honestly sugar coating...

Today I got to go out painting with the gals and had a good time. I have been in sort of a funk these past few days, but today cheered me up!

May is cystic fibrosis awareness month, so I decided to post random CF information on my face book page in hopes to increase awareness. I even thought that if I was honest on how I feel everyday (for the month) that maybe my family and friends who did not quite understand might understand a little better. But that task was a difficult one. I don’t usually like to post things about my health (specifically relating to me that is) because I’m usually not feeling energetic , often times my sinus’s are really causing me problems and well, most of the week my muscles hurt. Whenever I’m honest, it feels almost like I’m complaining…
So my dilemma is should I be honest or sugar coated?
Being honest ensures that there will not ever be a doubt about my health or how I feel. There will be no chance of denial from my friends or family. No chance for them to make comments about my CF being different from regular CF and no chance at any them being able to say things like, “I didn’t know she was sick” or “I had no idea she had that problem.”
Sugar coating allows me to be able to appear “normal” or “healthy” at times when I’m not. Since I have an invisible disease people can’t always tell when I feel less than 100%. I would probably still not get the support in my endeavors to cure CF or mitochondrial disease that I would like and I doubt any of them would rank it as a top 5 priority in life because after all, Chrissy doesn’t suffer too bad.
So I am thinking maybe I can mix the two?
Be honest but not blunt, be optimistic but not delusional, and be upfront be not completely open. I am usually pretty open about my health when it comes to my husband or the cysters and fibros I have met on line but for some reason I’m not able to be that open with family and friends.

So for all of my friends and family (and other people who read this blog)…
If you don’t want to really know how I feel… don’t ask. I don’t like feeling like I’m complaining, I like to be positive. But some days I just can’t be. I can’t smile as often as I would like to, I can’t do the things I used too and I’m too tired to always put up a facade. We’ll use a code; ask me how the weather is…

For those of you who do want to know I will do my best to paint an accurate picture when you ask (although it will not be a vivid picture, lol, just accurate).

Playing catch up...

My last entry was back in February; so I'm going to try to catch you up. I wasn't feeling well for a while. As I started to feel better my friend Chris offered Frank and I her condo in Ocean City for a week. So we decided; since we haven't been on a vacation in a while, that we were going to go! I really love the beach, a lot more than I did when I was younger. It is just a relaxing and peaceful, and our trip was wonderful. My little brother Pete went with us (as well as Kate of course) and everyone really had a great time! We came home to new living room furniture (sofa and love seat) which was nice, and then we all got sick the following week.

That brings us to today, where everyone is definitely feeling better! I'm excited about my birthday coming up (Thursday); I'll be 34. It seems like just yesterday that Kate was born and I got married! So this week I have been on a big gratitude trip. I am so thankful for my life, and I have been so blessed with my family and friends. Frank and Kate are taking me out for my birthday on Saturday, but I have no idea where we are going! I think they are going to blind fold me in the car! I don't get a hint either, when they asked what I wanted I said to spend time with them. So I'm guessing that's what we are doing, going to spend the day together. Other than that I have no idea! It will definitely be a surprise!

I also have to post about my daughter. Kate and I both lead teams at our local Great Strides CF walk, but last year I just couldn't participate. (I wasn't feeling well and my grandmother had just passed away) This year we were talking about it and Kate said she'd like to take over my team this year and lead it for me. So she did. She and I worked on a montage for the walk this year and so far it seems to have gotten a really good response!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Dreaming big...

Last night I laid in bed trying to sleep, but instead I was inspired to blog. Unfortunately I was too tired to get up and walk down the stairs and I knew that even if I could manage that I would not be able to go back up them. So I just laid there lost in my own thoughts.

What started me thinking?

I would have to say that Frank and I went to bed, and after getting in bed I realized my legs were itchy. Not bug bite itchy, but dry skin itchy. So Frank went down stairs to get my lotion, because he knew I couldn't make it down and back up again. So as I'm sitting there putting lotion on; I am reminded as to why I have dry skin that makes me itch. Not because it's winter, not because I take really hot showers or because of my medications; it is because my vitamins and minerals are low. It seems like every time I turn around something is reminding me that they are low. Like the cravings for tuna fish and turnip greens, and I don't mean craving as in "oh yeah that sounds good lets have that for dinner", I mean craving as in "OMG. I have to eat that right now, and if I don't get it I'm not really hungry for anything else".
I dropped my Critical Thinking class, because I can't think. Seriously, I'm forgetful and I get confused. So I decided that it would be a good idea to take a break. I have a clinic appointment next week and I'm hoping that NIH can help. I don't have health insurance so I am not able to get my IV therapy, which I really miss right now. I'd give anything to go it and be hooked up to a bag of multivitamin, trace minerals and lipids. So I'm hoping that some how my CF clinic might be able to help. I'm hoping that I can convince them to admit me for a tune up (you know you feel bad if you *want* in), but because this is all mito related who knows what they'll do. But a gal can dream, right?

Where are you Christmas??

I need to get something off my chest, to whine and rant…
All of my life I have had battles with depression, and I have one a few with out medication or counseling. The last Christmas that I had a problem with was right after my Grandmother has a stroke a few years ago; and before that one it was when My Grandfather (on my Mom’s side) was dying of cancer.

This Christmas will be the first with out Grand Donald (on my Dad’s side); we are loosing my Grandmother’s house (she bought it the year I was born); several people from the cystic forums have been sick and we have lost some too. I am still not feeling well; I don’t think I have felt good in a while. Maybe a day or two here and there; but this year has been an eye opener for me. I don’t think my life is worthless or anything and I am not suicidal, but I just can’t get myself out of this funk.

Now Christmas is coming and we are broke; my usual answer to this would be “so what we have each other”. This year…I can’t seem to get it out. It seems to get caught in my throat. I don’t want to be around people, well truthfully I do…I just don’t feel like I’m good company. I have to prepare myself, go over conversation ideas in my head…normal stuff I would have talked about before all of this crap.

On Thursday I go in for my second EGD, and I’m having a difficult time finding someone who wants to go with me. I guess I can understand; who wants to take off work to sit in a waiting room all afternoon and then help a sedated Chrissy into the car? My Dad said he’d take me; but he had a cow when I asked him about it. I need someone who can come back to recovery and listen to what the doctor says because it might be important. So I’m a little concerned about it. Wednesday my piano is being moved from my Grandmothers house to mine. My Aunt is helping to cover the cost, and the rest of the money is coming from our Christmas cash. Frank and Kate knew I’d be devastated if I lost the piano and both thought this was worth it. I love them so much.

IV center; here I come!!!

So yesterday my hubby had his doctors appointment; we have the same doctor so he asked me to go with him. He has trouble with doctor speak...
We are sitting in the room and she comes in. She looks over at me and says, "I can't believe the IV center wants me to admit you." I nod and say "yep. I'm fine with being admitted...I feel like crap." Then my doctor explains that FMH and every hospital have viruses and bacteria that run wild and she doesn't want me exposed to it because my immune system is crap. I mean I know those bugs were there, I'm very aware of the crap floating around at the hospital. But it just never occurred to me that she would be afraid to admit me. I don't know why I didn't think of that reasoning. I feel so dumb! So it looks like I get to spend the next two weeks at home. Resting...Blah...how do I do that!?! LOL (she is in talks with the IV center to get me back in next week, but the isolation would be for my protection...)

Frank got his test results, a prescription, and then was off to Rose Hill for his CT scan. I'm not sure what happened but he went in happy and came out a bear! We think it was some sort of reaction to the contrast dye. Neither of us are sure, but that is the only thing we could think of. When we got home he worked on the website for a bit and then took a 3 hour nap. He was so upset that he was so tired. He wanted to work on Shot stuff all day since he had off to get his scan and see the doctor. But I made him take that nap, I was afraid he'd fall asleep at the computer!

Kate and her friends (Molly and Bethany) are in the other room playing Rock Band. It's nice to have them here; they are good kids. But don't tell them I called them kids. HA HA! I'm trying to convince them to be a chick band. LOL Molly is drumming and Kate is the guitar and Bethany is singing....they aren't half bad.

Tonight I am planning to make a beef roast for dinner. This will be my second attempt at a roast that Frank will like. He is not a beef person, unless it is ground up or chicken fried! He choked on a piece of steak years ago...and it scared him for life.

I'm off to rest...whatever that is...

Labs from 6/30/09

So I went in for IV therapy today and got my test results from the 30th. I have to laugh now when I get them...I think my body is in a constant state of flux.

Vitamin K went from 3.6 to 3.9; up is good! lol
Morning Glucose was 82
Calcium was 8.9 which is the same as it was before. If it doesn't go down I'm happy.
AST the 23rd it was 120 and on the 30th it was 156...
Gamma GT last time was 86 and on the 30th it was 106
ALT was 110 and went down on the 30th to 103
CK has gone up from 1165 to 1690
Cholesterol has dropped again! This time I am at 73. hdl dropped to 12 and ldl is at 44
Bun/CREA 8.6
Vitamin B12 652.6
Vitamin B2 listed as repeat test needed again?
B6 dropped to 11
Vitamin C is listed at .13
Vitamin E 3.9
Apolipoprotein A1- 77

Oh they have been checking vitamin d too, but since it doesn't come back flagged I hadn't noticed it. Vitamin D 1 is 20 which the lab says is low.

Other than that everything has been going OK. I'm getting better about saying everything is fine, or good...but its been baby steps. I just never think people want to hear me whine. lol
Over the weekend we went to a good bye for now party for my best friend Jessica. Her dad is really sick and she is going to stay with him in Las Vegas. She says she isn't planning to stay...I really hope not. I lost touch with her several years ago; so even if she doesn't come back...I'm not letting that happen again.

On my way home from Iv's I heard a song that makes me think of Frank and how hard it is for him to be married to someone who is sick. It's by Rob Thomas and it's called "Her Diamonds"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anlM631RsoQ