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I am a wife and mother who also has cystic fibrosis and a mitochondrial disease.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Of Hope and Wars

Yesterday was a beautiful fall day, and I went to Gettysburg with my mom and my brother Pete. I took a lyrica before we left and it seemed to help- although I am really sore today! It was just a great day; I got out of the house and took some good pictures. I enjoy taking them because when I look at them I can't tell that I'm sick. I know it probably sounds crazy but it's true.
Walking around the battle fields I was thinking of all of the younger people who lost their lives. This also made me think about my own mortality, and made me thankful for all of the blessings I have in life. I loose site of how lucky I am sometimes.

Then last night I got online to work on some things, and as facebook came up I saw a post about another death. This one was CF related. I haven't been to the forums a whole lot lately, and I missed how sick he had gotten. He passed last night; I did not know him--but I feel like we were kindred spirits. (I feel like that about every one with CF) Fighting the same fight, just in different ways. I had never really spoken to him; but his wife Lisa is on the CF forums I use for support. I always feel horrible when I see the impact CF has on parents, couples, friends and siblings. It breaks my heart to know that one day my loved ones may feel that same loss. And there is nothing I can do about it. Sure I can take care of myself so that it doesn't happen anytime soon--but really does it matter when you loose a loved one? I don't think so really...
I just feel horrible for the loss that Lisa has experienced and I'm sending her my love and prayers. I'm also hugging my CF family, the ones who had met him and his wife, and the ones who hadn't...and I have a message:

CF may be a tie that binds us...but everyone I have met online and off have been truly wonderful and inspiring. I'm thinking of you all today, and if I'm being honest I think of you all everyday and I'm always wishing you the best. Even if I do not say it often.