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I am a wife and mother who also has cystic fibrosis and a mitochondrial disease.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I need new batteries...

Saturday we went to register my daughter for college classes. We got notice about the registration on Wednesday, luckily we were able to make it there (it's 4 hours away). It ended up an error, so we decided to explore the city instead. It was a good day, all in all. Sunday and Monday also went well although I was sore and really tired.

Some days I wake up feeling good, which for me means just a little fatigue. I have some level of it every day, and some days more than others. Just last week I was lucky enough to have two days in a row with energy. Last Monday I woke up with stiff joints, which sucked because it was a beautiful day out. At least it looked like it from my window. I really wanted to go out but I was too tired and had to save energy so that I could o to the grocery store. Luckily my daughter went with me, but the floor was killer on my hips and legs. Last Tuesday I had IVS and just couldn’t get myself moving but Wednesday I woke up with more energy than usual and it happened again on Thursday and Friday.

So it really does change every day, and I have no control over it. I have tried to rest up for activities, but that did not work out as I had hoped. I try to RSVP for things, but I still end up missing some of those things. Some people get upset over it (I do too) and I have friends that do not invite me places because I have canceled on the too much. It hurts my feelings but I have to remind myself that they don’t know what I deal with and no matter how hard I try to explain it, they will most likely never understand. But I’m glad they will never have to.

It’s tough for me to remember life before the pain, before the fatigue. It’s like a haze that surrounds me, every day I have a choice. I can look to the past or look to the future; I chose the future. Occasionally the past comes calling and I have a down day, I’d be lying if I said I always look on the bright side. I try to I have another blog called “The Bright Side” and a facebook page too, I’m hoping that by reminding myself to be thankful, I will be reminding others. Yeah I know I’m one of those dippy hippies. LOL

My life is unpredictable, and I have less stress about it since I accepted it. It took me a while and I still lapse every now and then; but life goes on.

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