Conserving energy

I haven't blogged in a while, mostly because I haven't had the energy. Yeah...that's right. I said "energy". It takes a lot for me to sit down and organize my thoughts here. I have found myself; lately, having to pick and choose my activities a lot more carefully. Here is a list of some of those things that I have to choose between most days:

Things that take energy
1. Getting out of bed
2. Getting a shower
3. Getting dressed
4. Coming down the stairs
5. Getting my medicine together and prepping treatments
6. Going into the kitchen to get something to eat
7. Eating breakfast
8. Cleaning up after breakfast
9. Going to the bathroom
10. Making phone calls
11.Logging in to school and participating
12.Walking back from the kitchen to the sofa.

I think you get the idea (a few of these I have to do more than once). Some days I wake up and can get 5 or 6 things done while others (less often) I can maybe even help out by starting a load of laundry or *gasp* I might have enough energy to spend some time with friends.

I do not consider myself a lazy person, but I'm not sure how many of my friends and family actually get how much energy it takes me to do the smallest task. Yesterday I had to take a shower with my husband, not for anything kinky mind you...but because I couldn't wash my hair. I'm not kidding either. Most people don't really know how bad it is because I honestly don't talk about it much.

I just feel bad about it. Embarrassed. Frustrated. Angry. I would rather not get the looks filled with pity, or they say "What about trying this or that?". My condition isn't something my doctors seem to know much about so, I don't like trying to explain something that even the "experts" have problems understanding.

These things are why when I have the energy I'll take my daughter shopping (even if I have to keep her out of school). This is why when friends or family call and ask for help or say they want to spend time with me--I'll move heaven and earth if I have the energy.