We have a few friends coming over tonight, nothing big as I am still not feeling 100%. 2014 started off rough and is ending rough, and I am hoping this new year is different!!
January started off good, my best friend was expecting her first child and February 7th Caroline Rose was born. Also in Feb my friends Scott and Mary announced that they were having a baby and my daughter was accepted into the Art Institute of Pittsburgh! The cold brought a rough time with pain, but I got through it. April 14th I turned 37 years old, and in May my daughter attended her Senior prom. I got to spend Mothers Day with my daughter and my best friend and her daughter, we went to the Mothers day service at church. That afternoon my husband and daughter took me to the zoo! Also in June my daughter and her best friend graduated from High School and I got to spend most mornings on my porch watching the birds. My daughter turned 18 and my husband and I celebrated being married for 16 years! We got to spend another vacation in Duck, NC; we ended up going with some good friends and having a wonderful time. Mary and Scott had the baby, Seth Gary, and then in October my baby moved away. In November we lost our dog Snoop, she was a great dog and I greatly missed. Also in November I got sick and was sick through Thanksgiving. I started to get well, only to get sick with in a few days.
2015 is another year to make some GREAT memories. I hope to spend more time with my family and friends.
CFDunbar Designs put out some nice shirt designs through out 2014!
Available at https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/99502-shed
Available at https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/45247-i-am-rage
Available at http://shirt.woot.com/offers/hello-kitsune-1?ref=cnt_ctlg_dgn_0
Available at https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/45074-mandatory-enemies
Available at https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/110262-harley-nouveau
A blog about Christine Dunbar a wife and mother who has cystic fibrosis and two mitochondrial mutations. I'll be blogging about expiriences as a mother, a wife and a patient.
About Me
- Chrissy
- I am a wife and mother who also has cystic fibrosis and a mitochondrial disease.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Out with the sick...
Labels:
Caroline,
CF Dunbar Designs,
Duck,
Jessica,
Kate,
Mary and Scott,
Snoop
Monday, December 15, 2014
Ready or not its Christmas time!
Ever since my Grandmother died I have had a difficult time getting into the Christmas spirit. I really try but it is always hard. I’m not sure if it is because she is not here or if it is because when she was gone my whole world changed, my focus shifted. I wanted to be like her, to be the one who helped everyone who needed it. Because I’m disabled – I live on a budget, I don’t have the strength or energy to see my family and friends as often, and I have learned the hard way that I cannot help everyone.
This year Christmas seems to be approaching so quickly that I don’t feel I’m ready! Not to mention my budget sure isn’t ready either. I’m Catholic, so Christmas has a deep meaning for me and my family that goes beyond presents. It is difficult though when you really want to give to others. Luckily my daughter will be home for a while so my husband and I have a month. Haha
I have been sick; I’m still working on getting better. My voice comes back, but not for long. I finally have energy to get Christmas cards out. Maybe.
Over the weekend, the cemetery had a candle vigil for the holidays and my husband and I went. It was beautiful and we loved it. I took a lighter and relit a few candles that had blown out, we were both cold but it was totally worth it!
This year Christmas seems to be approaching so quickly that I don’t feel I’m ready! Not to mention my budget sure isn’t ready either. I’m Catholic, so Christmas has a deep meaning for me and my family that goes beyond presents. It is difficult though when you really want to give to others. Luckily my daughter will be home for a while so my husband and I have a month. Haha
I have been sick; I’m still working on getting better. My voice comes back, but not for long. I finally have energy to get Christmas cards out. Maybe.
Over the weekend, the cemetery had a candle vigil for the holidays and my husband and I went. It was beautiful and we loved it. I took a lighter and relit a few candles that had blown out, we were both cold but it was totally worth it!
Friday, December 5, 2014
Time
I have been sick now for 22 days. Curious about what took me down? Not the flu, but a cold. The flu would have been disastrous. This was still rough, it still is. My husband was afraid to leave me to go to work, and when he did go he made sure someone was taking care of me. I spent a few days in the hospital, but left because they were doing nothing. They didn’t change any of my meds, they didn’t start any new meds, I had to ASK for CPT (!!!), the doctor didn’t even introduce himself, and they didn’t even figure out what is wrong!
Well, to be fair they gave me IV fluids and oxygen.
I saw my primary; she said it was probably a little cold that my body just couldn’t fight off. A little cold, she said! Something that took others 2 or 3 days to get over has been the bane of my existence for the last 22 days. Sometimes I forget I’m sick, forget that my life is not what it was. I am not feeling sorry for myself or looking for pity, I love my life. I love where I am and who I am surrounded by; my health is just a small facet of my life. So when I complain about it, it isn’t because I’m miserable but rather because some days it pulls my focus. I can’t think of anything else. I worry about things that I’m sure a lot of people my age don’t think about.
Because I consider life and death on almost a daily basis, I realize how much I love the people in my life. The ones who take care of me, the ones who offer to help, even those who put their heads in the sand. My life is not for the faint at heart, it’s not for the weak, and the people who have stuck around have shown me strength and love.
I appreciate them, I appreciate every second I have with them.
Time is precious.
Our time is finite.
Make your time matter.
Even if it is just helping your neighbor, or being a role model for the kid next door.
Do something guys.
Don’t wait. Do it now.
Well, to be fair they gave me IV fluids and oxygen.
I saw my primary; she said it was probably a little cold that my body just couldn’t fight off. A little cold, she said! Something that took others 2 or 3 days to get over has been the bane of my existence for the last 22 days. Sometimes I forget I’m sick, forget that my life is not what it was. I am not feeling sorry for myself or looking for pity, I love my life. I love where I am and who I am surrounded by; my health is just a small facet of my life. So when I complain about it, it isn’t because I’m miserable but rather because some days it pulls my focus. I can’t think of anything else. I worry about things that I’m sure a lot of people my age don’t think about.
Because I consider life and death on almost a daily basis, I realize how much I love the people in my life. The ones who take care of me, the ones who offer to help, even those who put their heads in the sand. My life is not for the faint at heart, it’s not for the weak, and the people who have stuck around have shown me strength and love.
I appreciate them, I appreciate every second I have with them.
Time is precious.
Our time is finite.
Make your time matter.
Even if it is just helping your neighbor, or being a role model for the kid next door.
Do something guys.
Don’t wait. Do it now.
Monday, October 20, 2014
The college life?
The beginning of this month we dropped my daughter off at college. This has proved to be more of a challenge than I thought. You see my daughter; husband and I are very close. We get told often that we aren’t normal. I suppose this connection the 3 of us seem to have can be explained by a few defining experiences.
1. Kate came to live with us when she was 1. At that time we were on good terms with her birthmother, and everything went smooth. Soon though everything changed. Her birth mother started to cancel visits for ridiculous reasons. Her car broke down once a month, working overtime (but she never had any money), she couldn’t afford gas (but she was working overtime?) and a hysterectomy (twice). Often she would call the day before or the day of; a few times she would call hours after she was supposed to pick up my daughter after we had called to make sure she was OK. Long story short she picked up Kate and ran off with her. She had her 3 kids with her and no job, no permanent residence, and she refused to call us. We got a lawyer and fought to get Kate home. We won, the state awarded us child support, and the birthmother had visitation. Well, she could have had visitation but she continued canceling (not every time, but it was frequent). She ended up moving and not telling us anything, other than telling me she had fibromyalgia and could not pick Kate up anymore. Flash forward I adopted Kate when she was 16. She did not like being too far from home after that, and we weren’t crazy about it either!
2. My health. When Kate was younger she and I were almost always together (I did home daycare) and she even went to doctors appointments with me. I was diagnosed with both diseases at 21, so she grew up knowing I was sick. Our family has no secrets. When she started in middle school the progression of my Mitochondrial disease changed. Before it had been minor issues, now working was getting more difficult. Within 3 years I had to stop working and apply for disability. My husband and Kate had to start doing the house work, they split it up. I am not exaggerating but Kate, never once complained.
3. It has always been the 3 of us against the world. Our families and friends are a great support, but no one truly understands our struggles as a family (health, financial, and personal).
I really want her dreams to come true and for all that good karma to come back to her tenfold. So while I miss her, I am excited she has started this next phase in her life.
1. Kate came to live with us when she was 1. At that time we were on good terms with her birthmother, and everything went smooth. Soon though everything changed. Her birth mother started to cancel visits for ridiculous reasons. Her car broke down once a month, working overtime (but she never had any money), she couldn’t afford gas (but she was working overtime?) and a hysterectomy (twice). Often she would call the day before or the day of; a few times she would call hours after she was supposed to pick up my daughter after we had called to make sure she was OK. Long story short she picked up Kate and ran off with her. She had her 3 kids with her and no job, no permanent residence, and she refused to call us. We got a lawyer and fought to get Kate home. We won, the state awarded us child support, and the birthmother had visitation. Well, she could have had visitation but she continued canceling (not every time, but it was frequent). She ended up moving and not telling us anything, other than telling me she had fibromyalgia and could not pick Kate up anymore. Flash forward I adopted Kate when she was 16. She did not like being too far from home after that, and we weren’t crazy about it either!
2. My health. When Kate was younger she and I were almost always together (I did home daycare) and she even went to doctors appointments with me. I was diagnosed with both diseases at 21, so she grew up knowing I was sick. Our family has no secrets. When she started in middle school the progression of my Mitochondrial disease changed. Before it had been minor issues, now working was getting more difficult. Within 3 years I had to stop working and apply for disability. My husband and Kate had to start doing the house work, they split it up. I am not exaggerating but Kate, never once complained.
3. It has always been the 3 of us against the world. Our families and friends are a great support, but no one truly understands our struggles as a family (health, financial, and personal).
I really want her dreams to come true and for all that good karma to come back to her tenfold. So while I miss her, I am excited she has started this next phase in her life.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
I need new batteries...
Saturday we went to register my daughter for college classes. We got notice about the registration on Wednesday, luckily we were able to make it there (it's 4 hours away). It ended up an error, so we decided to explore the city instead. It was a good day, all in all. Sunday and Monday also went well although I was sore and really tired.
Some days I wake up feeling good, which for me means just a little fatigue. I have some level of it every day, and some days more than others. Just last week I was lucky enough to have two days in a row with energy. Last Monday I woke up with stiff joints, which sucked because it was a beautiful day out. At least it looked like it from my window. I really wanted to go out but I was too tired and had to save energy so that I could o to the grocery store. Luckily my daughter went with me, but the floor was killer on my hips and legs. Last Tuesday I had IVS and just couldn’t get myself moving but Wednesday I woke up with more energy than usual and it happened again on Thursday and Friday.
So it really does change every day, and I have no control over it. I have tried to rest up for activities, but that did not work out as I had hoped. I try to RSVP for things, but I still end up missing some of those things. Some people get upset over it (I do too) and I have friends that do not invite me places because I have canceled on the too much. It hurts my feelings but I have to remind myself that they don’t know what I deal with and no matter how hard I try to explain it, they will most likely never understand. But I’m glad they will never have to.
It’s tough for me to remember life before the pain, before the fatigue. It’s like a haze that surrounds me, every day I have a choice. I can look to the past or look to the future; I chose the future. Occasionally the past comes calling and I have a down day, I’d be lying if I said I always look on the bright side. I try to I have another blog called “The Bright Side” and a facebook page too, I’m hoping that by reminding myself to be thankful, I will be reminding others. Yeah I know I’m one of those dippy hippies. LOL
My life is unpredictable, and I have less stress about it since I accepted it. It took me a while and I still lapse every now and then; but life goes on.
Some days I wake up feeling good, which for me means just a little fatigue. I have some level of it every day, and some days more than others. Just last week I was lucky enough to have two days in a row with energy. Last Monday I woke up with stiff joints, which sucked because it was a beautiful day out. At least it looked like it from my window. I really wanted to go out but I was too tired and had to save energy so that I could o to the grocery store. Luckily my daughter went with me, but the floor was killer on my hips and legs. Last Tuesday I had IVS and just couldn’t get myself moving but Wednesday I woke up with more energy than usual and it happened again on Thursday and Friday.
So it really does change every day, and I have no control over it. I have tried to rest up for activities, but that did not work out as I had hoped. I try to RSVP for things, but I still end up missing some of those things. Some people get upset over it (I do too) and I have friends that do not invite me places because I have canceled on the too much. It hurts my feelings but I have to remind myself that they don’t know what I deal with and no matter how hard I try to explain it, they will most likely never understand. But I’m glad they will never have to.
It’s tough for me to remember life before the pain, before the fatigue. It’s like a haze that surrounds me, every day I have a choice. I can look to the past or look to the future; I chose the future. Occasionally the past comes calling and I have a down day, I’d be lying if I said I always look on the bright side. I try to I have another blog called “The Bright Side” and a facebook page too, I’m hoping that by reminding myself to be thankful, I will be reminding others. Yeah I know I’m one of those dippy hippies. LOL
My life is unpredictable, and I have less stress about it since I accepted it. It took me a while and I still lapse every now and then; but life goes on.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Weight loss with Mito and CF
I have decided to be more diligent with my blogging, or at least I am going to try to be. I should post more often to raise awareness on issues near and dear to my heart.
This week is mitochondrial disease awareness week and I have been flooding my page with tid bits about having a mitochondrial disease. I have two genetic diseases both are progressive and neither have a cure. Both are/have been considered childhood diseases. (Cystic Fibrosis and Mitochondrial Disease) Obviously since I am 37 they are not. I was sick a lot as a kid, and was labeled fat and lazy. So when I turned 21 and they diagnosed me I was so happy to know why I was fat and lazy (and sick).
The problem?
I can’t change the fat or lazy part. Because of my Mito I don’t absorb vitamins and minerals correctly, and my CF totally compounds this issue. I take enzymes when I eat, avoid milk products (except for cheese, I LOVE cheese), take vitamin supplements, I get vitamins and minerals twice a week. I am still low. The past few months I have really been struggling with carotene, vitamin A and D. They are just consistently low all of the time it seems. At IVs I get blood work every week to monitor my levels. My cholesterol is really low too, but that is nothing new either. You would think that I would be losing weight through all this, but I’m not. I have been around the same weight for years, it seems. The mito causes me to have muscle cramping, nerve and joint pain; so exercising is not an option for me. I’d like to try to get to the pool more often but the Y costs money and I just don’t have that right now. Plus I eat whatever I crave, my doctors told me to; the thought process is that if I crave it my body needs it. My CF doc is happy with my weight and my mito doc hasn’t said anything about it, so I assume it’s a non issue for them. It is something I think about often though. Some days I am so bloated none of my clothing looks right and some days everything is a size too big, and my pants just fall right off. I exercise when I can but honestly, that is not often and not on a regular basis. I try to not focus on it, but it is hard. I used to go on all sorts of crash diets as a teen t try to fit in, but when y daughter was born everything changed. No more crash diets. I eat healthy, but sometimes I over eat the healthy stuff and without exercise I can’t lose. But I have learned to be happy in my own skin, plus being “chubby” seems to work for my health right now.
Both my illnesses have shaped my personality and me physically. They have both left a permanent mark, like a tattoo, on my soul. It will never go away, and I am ok with that.
For more info on Mitochondrial Disease go to UMDF.og
For more info on Cystic Fibrosis got to CFF.org
This week is mitochondrial disease awareness week and I have been flooding my page with tid bits about having a mitochondrial disease. I have two genetic diseases both are progressive and neither have a cure. Both are/have been considered childhood diseases. (Cystic Fibrosis and Mitochondrial Disease) Obviously since I am 37 they are not. I was sick a lot as a kid, and was labeled fat and lazy. So when I turned 21 and they diagnosed me I was so happy to know why I was fat and lazy (and sick).
The problem?
I can’t change the fat or lazy part. Because of my Mito I don’t absorb vitamins and minerals correctly, and my CF totally compounds this issue. I take enzymes when I eat, avoid milk products (except for cheese, I LOVE cheese), take vitamin supplements, I get vitamins and minerals twice a week. I am still low. The past few months I have really been struggling with carotene, vitamin A and D. They are just consistently low all of the time it seems. At IVs I get blood work every week to monitor my levels. My cholesterol is really low too, but that is nothing new either. You would think that I would be losing weight through all this, but I’m not. I have been around the same weight for years, it seems. The mito causes me to have muscle cramping, nerve and joint pain; so exercising is not an option for me. I’d like to try to get to the pool more often but the Y costs money and I just don’t have that right now. Plus I eat whatever I crave, my doctors told me to; the thought process is that if I crave it my body needs it. My CF doc is happy with my weight and my mito doc hasn’t said anything about it, so I assume it’s a non issue for them. It is something I think about often though. Some days I am so bloated none of my clothing looks right and some days everything is a size too big, and my pants just fall right off. I exercise when I can but honestly, that is not often and not on a regular basis. I try to not focus on it, but it is hard. I used to go on all sorts of crash diets as a teen t try to fit in, but when y daughter was born everything changed. No more crash diets. I eat healthy, but sometimes I over eat the healthy stuff and without exercise I can’t lose. But I have learned to be happy in my own skin, plus being “chubby” seems to work for my health right now.
Both my illnesses have shaped my personality and me physically. They have both left a permanent mark, like a tattoo, on my soul. It will never go away, and I am ok with that.
For more info on Mitochondrial Disease go to UMDF.og
For more info on Cystic Fibrosis got to CFF.org
Labels:
awareness,
CF,
exercise intolerence,
food,
IVs,
mitochondrial disease,
vitamin,
weight
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Awareness
This week is Mitochondrial Disease awareness week (September 14 – 20) and I am always thinking of ways to spread awareness about both of my diseases, Cystic Fibrosis and Mito. Ironically my Mito is the only hurdle in doing so. I can no long participate in Great Strides (CF walk), I can still sponsor someone but I used to participate in 1 walk for years and for those last 3 years I did 2. Cystic Fibrosis previously was thought to be a childhood disease, Mito still is talked about as a childhood disease but they are learning more and more about adult onset.
I try to post on social media to spread awareness, and I have this blog but I can’t help but feel like I am not doing enough. Then again that is a common theme in my adult life. I never feel like I am doing enough. I should be doing more to raise awareness. I should be doing more around the house. I should be doing more to help my family. I should be doing more to see my family. The list goes on and on, but I’m no whiner so I’ll stop there.
To learn more about Mitochondrial Disease go to umdf.org
Getting them to narrow my specific Mito down is like pulling teeth, every visit I’d ask and every visit I would get the same answer. “You have two mutations never seen before. We cannot classify them easily and we have no other to compare it to. We don’t really know what other symptoms will develop, but we do know the ones you have will progress.” It is a nightmare, and to get any answer I have to break down in front of the right person. I broke down at many of my Mito appointments, and they felt bad; I think, but no one would budge. No false hope and all that jazz, they wanted to be sure. In an article written about me they say “a woman who has been suspected of mitochondrial Cytopathy”, while at another appointment another doc said they thought it was a Myopathy. (Am J Med Genet. 2002 Nov 15;113(1):59-64)
I’m still waiting.
To learn more about Cystic Fibrosis go to cff.org
I was diagnosed at 21 which is when he figured out that I had Mito too. I have lived with the knowledge of both, but because they weren’t sure about the Mitochondrial Disease I focused on my CF. Tried to learn as much about it as I can, I’m no expert but I do know what it is and what it does, and more importantly what it will do. I ignored my Mito until my symptoms had progressed and I was unable to sit at work or walk across a parking lot. I fought hard or disability and was denied twice. Finally I had to go in, that day I was not moving well at all. I had my wheel chair for the long walk into the court house, but I walked into the court room. It was slow and agonizing but I wanted these people to see me. Not just the label of Mito, but me and what it was doing to my body. Finally this judge saw *ME*.
Now I live in a two story home with my husband and daughter. They do the housework and cooking. I pitch in when I can, which is not often. Most days I sit by my window and watch the birds outside, my dogs keep me company as I spend my time on the internet, reading, watching TV, or playing a video game. When the pain is bad I do more than one, in an attempt to keep myself occupied with other things. My therapist called this a distraction method and said it was common with chronic pain sufferers.
Please educate yourself on Mitochondrial Disease and Cystic Fibrosis, both diseases need a cure. Not because I have them, but because I know, first hand, what they are capable of doing to people.
I try to post on social media to spread awareness, and I have this blog but I can’t help but feel like I am not doing enough. Then again that is a common theme in my adult life. I never feel like I am doing enough. I should be doing more to raise awareness. I should be doing more around the house. I should be doing more to help my family. I should be doing more to see my family. The list goes on and on, but I’m no whiner so I’ll stop there.
To learn more about Mitochondrial Disease go to umdf.org
Getting them to narrow my specific Mito down is like pulling teeth, every visit I’d ask and every visit I would get the same answer. “You have two mutations never seen before. We cannot classify them easily and we have no other to compare it to. We don’t really know what other symptoms will develop, but we do know the ones you have will progress.” It is a nightmare, and to get any answer I have to break down in front of the right person. I broke down at many of my Mito appointments, and they felt bad; I think, but no one would budge. No false hope and all that jazz, they wanted to be sure. In an article written about me they say “a woman who has been suspected of mitochondrial Cytopathy”, while at another appointment another doc said they thought it was a Myopathy. (Am J Med Genet. 2002 Nov 15;113(1):59-64)
I’m still waiting.
To learn more about Cystic Fibrosis go to cff.org
I was diagnosed at 21 which is when he figured out that I had Mito too. I have lived with the knowledge of both, but because they weren’t sure about the Mitochondrial Disease I focused on my CF. Tried to learn as much about it as I can, I’m no expert but I do know what it is and what it does, and more importantly what it will do. I ignored my Mito until my symptoms had progressed and I was unable to sit at work or walk across a parking lot. I fought hard or disability and was denied twice. Finally I had to go in, that day I was not moving well at all. I had my wheel chair for the long walk into the court house, but I walked into the court room. It was slow and agonizing but I wanted these people to see me. Not just the label of Mito, but me and what it was doing to my body. Finally this judge saw *ME*.
Now I live in a two story home with my husband and daughter. They do the housework and cooking. I pitch in when I can, which is not often. Most days I sit by my window and watch the birds outside, my dogs keep me company as I spend my time on the internet, reading, watching TV, or playing a video game. When the pain is bad I do more than one, in an attempt to keep myself occupied with other things. My therapist called this a distraction method and said it was common with chronic pain sufferers.
Please educate yourself on Mitochondrial Disease and Cystic Fibrosis, both diseases need a cure. Not because I have them, but because I know, first hand, what they are capable of doing to people.
Labels:
awareness,
cystic fibrosis,
disability,
mitochondrial disease
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