Boys...

This post will be about all the boys in my life...
My friend Chris and I talked and I won't be watching Devin on a regular basis for a while. In actuality I think it will be longer than just a while...I didn't do anything wrong but found out from my husband that he talked with Chris about me watching Devin. I didn't get upset like he thought I would, he was worried about me and I guess he told Chris about it. I don't know how I really feel about the whole thing. I miss Devin like crazy; but I know that not watching him has allowed me to rest.
I always worry about what people think of me; you know the stuff they don't say to your face. The last thing I want is for people to feel sorry for me, or pity my life. I say things like "I don't care what so-and-so thinks"...but I do care; if only a little bit. (Not like cry myself to sleep and change my life care...but...enough to put up a front about how I feel) So when Frank sat me down and told me about his talk with Chris and his feelings on me watching Devin, I was a little surprised and hurt. It hurt because I knew he was right. I would have never given up watching the baby if I could help it. Not that I would watch him while contagious or unable to take care of him, and I think (hope) that everyone knows that I would put him before myself. I was actually able to go over to Devin's house to play D & D (Yeah...I play D & D) and I got to hold him and play with him, if only for a little bit. He has gotten so big! And still adorable ;o)!

My sister in law has 3 boys. Nick, Anders and Finn; I used to watch Nick when he was a baby. Nick is close to the same age as my daughter and I really miss having him around. I haven't really gotten the chance to know Anders or Finn that well, and Nick and I have grown apart... Which breaks my heart. He is such a great kid and he is funny, witty and smart. I know he doesn't need me to tell him those things; but I wish I could more often. His Mom is having a birthday party for Anders tonight, and I can't go. I wanted to but I'm not driving myself often because my muscles are so bad, so I need my husband to drive me to these things. Unfortunately he has to work.

I really wanted this year to be the year that I strengthened all of my relationships, however, my body doesn't seem to want to cooperate! I guess since this year isn't over yet I still have time...

For my next blog entry I want to answer questions and say things that I probably should have said already (thanks CG)...so feel free to email me a question or post it on here and next time I'll compile it and answer...