About Me

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I am a wife and mother who also has cystic fibrosis and a mitochondrial disease.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Would I choose CF?

I read a blog called runsickboyrun.blogspot.com

The question was, "Would you choose CF?" I'm going to post a link to his blog response because it was amazing.


Before I was diagnosed I was a different person, I think. The birth of Kate changed me, made me more responsible and made me less bitchy. (LOL) When I finally got the diagnosis; I feel as if I shut myself away. Went into a cocoon so to speak: I picked fights with the people close to me, and I didn't take very good care of myself. I was depressed a lot. It took me a while but when I "emerged" I was different. When I did, I had a respect for everything; nature, life, my family, my friends and myself. I started to be more understanding with people who had different opinions than me, started to pay more attention to the world, and really looked at myself as a person. I became the mother I knew my daughter needed, a better friend...it all made sense to me. I appreciated everyone around me; all the plants and trees--the blue skies and the gray ones as well.

Sure I still have depressed days. Sure some days I wake up and wonder why me...we all do. But would I change my life and give up what I have now to be born healthy? No. I regret nothing. I don't want to go back and change anything. Cystic Fibrosis shaped my personality and life...the crappy part but most importantly all the good parts. I'm still working on me...being compliant... not pushing myself... being a positive influence... taking things at a slower pace...

I guess that this question may depend on the day you ask, because some days I wish I was healthy. Not for me but for all those around me who suffer because of my illnesses. But today is not one of those days.


  1. It's amazing what these things do to people, how they change people. It's amazing how your family and friends change with it. Because I know you, and I know a little bit of the cross you bear, I also see things a bit differently. When I am having a tough time, I recall how much tougher it is for you, and I realize that if you are getting through CF, I can get through my tough time.

    CF has not just changed you; it's changed me. It's changed so many people who know you and witness the way you deal with CF. If I could make you well, I definitely would if only to keep you around for as long as you want to be around, but I wouldn't want to change you to do it. Love ya!

  2. Chrissy,
    Thanks for sharing that with us. It floors me that anyone would ask that question. I would certainly not ask someone anything like that. I so admire you and all the others out there like you who have the strength to deal with what you do on a daily basis and still have such a positive out look. I don't really think I could do that.